“A person cannot be comfortable without their own approval.” Ralph Waldo Emerson.
I appreciate this quote and have modified it slightly from the original; replacing the word “man” with “person” because this quote is applicable to everyone.
What does it mean, to achieve one’s own approval and become comfortable with ourselves?
I’ve learned it means doing things that genuinely make us happy. Working steadily, little by little each day toward thoughts and activities that drive you, bring creativity and passion into your life and renew the spark that perhaps you thought was long gone.
When I was younger I believed fighting against the things I didn’t want was the answer to all my problems. It doesn’t work. Now I understand fighting against things you don’t want drains energy and wastes time keeping us stuck in a pattern of negative thinking as we share in the vibration of the unwanted experience.
Facing things we do not want becomes helpful when we are aware of the unwanted, and can identify the polar opposite. And presto discover what we do want.
So what is working for me now thanks to hitting my head against many walls? The answers simple, I quietly and patiently do things that matter and are enjoyable to me. In this way I contribute to my sense of well being, and I respect and approve of me.
Sometimes the good opinions of others come along and ask, “why are you wasting your time on that?” When faced with this type of reaction I use a soft approach. I explain my need to do what is best for me, and leave it there; no excuses or defense… that’s it.
Some will try and take it further, at which point I say, “thank you and I value your input.” But mostly others soon realize I am comfortable and relaxed with myself and they let it go.
This feeling of peace is not something you can fake. When you honestly do what makes you happy the self approval that follows is something others can see and feel.
Steadily working toward small things that make you happy will gradually bring other things that are also enjoyable into your life experience in the form of new thoughts and ideas. Go with your gut. And before you know it the life you always wanted is staring you in the face and you are living the dream, YOUR dream that is.
The mission: Find ways to gain approval of yourself by doing what makes you happy in small ways every day. There is no wrong answer here. Sometimes things will get a little screwy and you may come up against something you don’t want, keep going. This is called clarity because directly opposite and beside the unwanted thing is something that will make you happy.
Have you had a defining moment where you realized approving of yourself is important? Would love to hear about it!