Writing And The Fear Factor

My goal is to upload a new post to the blog once a week. This post is two days late. The reason for its tardiness may be of interest to some and I share it below.

On Wednesday a huge boulder (negative thought) fell on my head. You might be familiar with the concept. A thought that smacks you so hard you begin to run round and round in your mind. It is the kind of mind numbing ambivalence that stops all productive activity.

The pull out the old ratty sweats, crawl under a rock and eat comfort food totaling 50,000 calories per bite kind of situation. By Saturday morning I had landed myself in full blown terror. I was fresh out of rocks large enough to crawl under. The fridge was empty, and the sweats were in desperate need of a wash. Motivated by anger and frustration I decided to try something different this time. I sat with the blasted anxiety and went right ahead and felt the fear.

Unable to grasp any rational reason for the fear I decided to turn on one of my favorite self help tapes. As usual just what I needed to hear at that moment blasted from the speakers.

A neighbor thumped on the wall. I whispered a curse and lowered the volume. The boulder began to crack. In reality this boulder was no bigger or smaller than the last time it splattered me to the ground. I got back up again. Hell, I thought, what exactly am I cursing? There isn’t an unseen force, or fate randomly dropping these rocks on me for the fun of it all. The boulder was created by my thoughts. A negative thought was creating feelings of fear inside me. This was stopping my productive thinking and activity I was responsible for the dis-empowerment.

What, I am responsible? Me?

I still had to uncover the actual thought. Could it be buried in my sub conscious? Because I was responding to the fear rather than reacting to it I was able to question it better.

I discovered the thought creating the fear had come from a comment someone made earlier in the week. It was not a significant comment in any way. Actually it really doesn’t affect me one way or another; it was just an off handed comment. What I was feeling is truly not real I told myself.

To relax myself, I used a method that has worked for me in the past. I pulled out a book by a self help guru I have come to trust over the years.

I read the wise words of Bob Proctor. Fear is merely a genetically and environmentally conditioned state induced by old tapes in the brain. This is a stop barrier that teaches us to play it safe.  It is the imagined wall we bump up against when we truly know we can achieve that goal.

When we are in a state of overwhelming terror or fear that is perfectly balanced with the knowledge we can accomplish our dreams we hit this imaginary barrier.   We want to complete the goal and at the same time we are struck with this terror that we should play it safe.

I continued reading and remembered a project I am working on has a deadline quickly approaching. What will I do I wondered. My own conditioned fear can at this moment stop me from achieving that goal. The comment that had no baring on the situation at all was only a smoke screen hiding the play it safe fearful conditioning. This is self sabotage, I thought.

The self help literature I was reading reminded me that while there is a strong fearful reaction to creating something new, there must also be the opposite thought which is enthusiasm for what we love to do. And that the best way to get past the fear is to work on the enthusiastic thinking that drove the dream to begin with.

How many greats have reminded us, if you’re scared, then do it scared! I thought about why I love to write and remembered the passion, enthusiasm and drive behind it. I cuddled and coddled my mind and feelings back toward the passion that I enjoy when writing.

Yes there will be fear. Fear is a guide post, when kept in proper perspective not a wall. If fear is absent the goal needs work, because only things that challenge our growth can bring up fear. And a worthy goal is always that which challenges us to new growth.

I give thanks to and have deep appreciation for the women and men who put these teachings out there to encourage us to keep going. The tools they offer are far beyond the scope of commonly accepted studies. Their commitment to help us along this journey is a truly selfless act.

Here’s to dreams that press us forward, and create feelings of passion and enthusiasm for life.


4 thoughts on “Writing And The Fear Factor

    1. ariescottrell Post author

      Hurray, so glad it made sense!! I had to get really pissed about those boulders before I really started to want change. Luckily have been studying a few self help people for years and have come to trust their information. So happy it is finally clicking and sinking in! Let me know if you want suggestions. Not every self help `guru`works for everyone, but I will certainly share the ones I trust with you. Thanks for commenting, you made my day!

  1. Kelli Joan Bennett

    Been there! Glad you had methods to help you crawl out from under the weight of the fear. All we can do is keep creating from what we have…including all of the boulders! 🙂 Wishing you continued fearless creating!


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